Sunday, February 7, 2016

Beyonce does the Blackest thing EVER on a Saturday



Beyoncé dropped a new single and a video on Saturday and it's the Blackest thing. EVER. Like, seriously.

Bey be so damn random at times. Even though this wasn't random. But still. You know we love her for it. But when I tell you everything about "Formation" is so dayum Black ... like fo' flats on a Cadillac Black .. Blue magic hair grease mixed with Ultra Sheen and Pink Oil moisturizer Black .... like snatch yo' edges Black, black ... like hotwater cornbread and collard greens black ...

Bey already told you she got hot sauce in her bag .. Yaaasss!!!

I was sick as a dog on Saturday, but I knew I had to write about this ...

Where do I start ...Why is this video so Black? I don't know. It just IS. Well, we all knew Bey was hood, but folks always checking for credentials. Well, Bey said, "Who gone check me, boo?" You gone learn TA-DAY. I got these here millions AND street cred. Yaaassss!

Bey say she Black; makes no apologies for it, either.

First, the video is so New Orleans, where it's filmed. And the beat, tho ... it's bangin. It's Bey's first new song in over a year. And she put the stank on it, baby, with Big Freedia (in my New Orleans voice). It's just so grimy... and I LURVES her for it.

It's epic clapback ... She's letting the haters know she slays..

Even though we tend to think Bey is as deep as a puddle, this vid clearly shows she is not. She even addresses police brutality and Black Lives Matter with a sign in the video that says, "Stop Shooting Us," she's on top of a police cruiser sinking in water, and a little boy dances in front of police in riot gear.

Red Lobster, What?
A line in the song about Red Lobster made everybody go out and get cheddar biscuits and coconut shrimp on Saturday. Just because. It's just brilliant, brilliant. Now Red Lobster used to be LIT in high school, but half of the Beyhive know NOTHING about the magic that is Red Lobster.

"When he f*k me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay"




But I betchu they know today. The Interwebs went crazy. Folks on Twitter losing their minds.

Them lyrics, tho
And chiiillle.. the lyrics are racy. Bey answers all the critics, on everything from those Illuminati claims and talking about her child's hair, to her man's nose. And I LOVED the dancers who all had natural hair...

Check the lyrics tho:

[Intro: Messy Mya]
What happened after New Orleans?
Bitch, I'm back by popular demand


[Refrain: Beyonce]
Y'all haters corny with that illuminati mess
Paparazzi, catch my fly, and my cocky fresh
I'm so reckless when I rock my Givenchy dress (stylin')
I'm so possessive so I rock his Roc necklaces
My daddy Alabama, Momma Louisiana
You mix that negro with that Creole make a Texas bamma

I like my baby hair, with baby hair and afros
I like my negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils

Earned all this money but they never take the country out me
I got a hot sauce in my bag, swag


[Interlude: Messy Mya + Big Freedia]
Oh yeah baby, oh yeah I, ohhhhh, oh yes I like that

I did not come to play with you hoes, haha
I came to slay, bitch
I like cornbreads and collard greens, bitch
Oh yes, you best to believe it


[Refrain: Beyonce]
Y'all haters corny with that illuminati mess
Paparazzi, catch my fly, and my cocky fresh
I'm so reckless when I rock my Givenchy dress (stylin')
I'm so possessive so I rock his Roc necklaces
My daddy Alabama, Momma Louisiana
You mix that negro with that Creole make a Texas bamma

I like my baby hair, with baby hair and afros
I like my negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils

Earned all this money but they never take the country out me
I got a hot sauce in my bag, swag


[Chorus: Beyonce]
I see it, I want it
I stunt, yeah, yellow bone it

I dream it, I work hard
I grind 'til I own it

I twirl on them haters
Albino alligators
El Camino with the seat low
Sippin' Cuervo with no chaser

Sometimes I go off, I go off
I go hard, I go hard
Get what's mine, take what's mine
I'm a star, I'm a star
Cause I slay, slay
I slay, hey, I slay, okay
I slay, okay, all day, okay
I slay, okay, I slay okay
We gon' slay, slay
Gon' slay, okay
We slay, okay
I slay, okay
I slay, okay
Okay, okay, I slay, okay
Okay, okay, okay, okay

Okay, okay, ladies, now let's get in formation, cause I slay
Okay ladies, now let's get in formation, cause I slay
Prove to me you got some coordination, cause I slay
Slay trick, or you get eliminated


[Verse 1: Beyonce]
When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay

If he hit it right, I might take him on a flight on my chopper, cause I slay
Drop him off at the mall, let him buy some J's, let him shop up, cause I slay

I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay
I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay

You just might be a black Bill Gates in the making, cause I slay
I just might be a black Bill Gates in the making


[Chorus: Beyonce]
I see it, I want it
I stunt, yeah, yellow bone it

I dream it, I work hard
I grind 'til I own it

I twirl on my haters
Albino alligators
El Camino with the seat low
Sippin' Cuervo with no chaser

Sometimes I go off, I go off
I go hard, I go hard
Take what's mine, take what's mine
I'm a star, I'm a star
Cause I slay, slay
I slay, hey, I slay, okay
I slay, okay, all day, okay
I slay, okay, I slay okay
We gon' slay, slay
Gon' slay, okay
We slay, okay
I slay, okay
I slay, okay
Okay, okay, I slay, okay
Okay, okay, okay, okay

Okay, okay, ladies, now let's get in formation, I slay
Okay ladies, now let's get in formation, I slay
Prove to me you got some coordination, I slay
Slay trick, or you get eliminated, I slay


[Bridge: Beyonce]
Okay ladies, now let's get in formation, I slay
Okay ladies, now let's get in formation

You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation
Always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper


[Outro]
Girl I hear some thunder
Golly this is that water boy, oh lord





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